Passed out in an overturned car, with cuts and bruises from where I fell

Went out to get tobacco, next thing I know I’m in a prison cell

They grant me a phone call, I dial and say “Hey Ma, I’m in jail”

I drank all her whiskey, she won’t come to post my bail

Well, if you wanna look down on me, we can take this outside

I’ve had one hell of a day, this life’s been one hell of a ride

Well, if you wanna patronise me, I’ll see the devil’s point of view

I ain’t got nothing to lose, I’m just a jailbound fool

Policeman’s acting like a clown, says I’m loser and a disgrace (a disgrace)

So I reply “Being constable at Brixton Met, doesn’t mean you’re leader of the human race”

Next thing I know he's punching me, I can’t wait to get out of here (run boy, run)

Can’t wait to get back to the pub, to get a belly full of cold beer (cold beer)

Well, if you wanna look down on me, we can take this outside

I’ve had one hell of a day, this life’s been one hell of a ride

Well, if you wanna patronise me, I’ll see the devil’s point of view

I ain’t got nothing to lose, I’m just a jailbound fool

Took the tube when I got out, no-one wanted to pick me up (what a surprise)

Next thing I know I’m ten pints down

Karaoke singing in a club (Wonderwall)

An ugly fella comes up to me

And pipes up “Hey man, you’re outta key”

I broke his nose with the microphone

Now I’m back in the penitentiary

Well, if you wanna look down on me, we can take this outside

I’ve had one hell of a day, this life’s been one hell of a ride

Well, if you wanna patronise me, I’ll see the devil’s point of view

I ain’t got nothing to lose, I’m just a jailbound fool